I'm cleaning out my email, and I came across this joke a friend of mine sent me yonks ago. Enjoy:

Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding.

"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night."

Archie nods approvingly.

"Heavens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.

"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that! What's the tartan?"

"Och," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."